As humans, we have this almost unbearable need to be in control. At work, home, with our kids – we want to have complete control. We just want everything to be right, to be successful to be (do I dare say?) perfect.
When I get home from work each day, I’m always greeted with a wagging tail and a “gift” from my dog Tucker. He has a basket full of stuffed toys and I never know what he’s going to present me with. Sometimes it’s a quacking duck, or a half unstuffed squirrel. These are Tucker’s “babies” that he gladly offers me because he’s so happy to see me. Tucker doesn’t have a worry in the world. He just needs to get out a few times a day to do his business and have a full bowl of food twice a day with a bowl of water to the side. He doesn’t pace or worry that I’m not going to provide those things for him. He knows I love him and for the past 5 years, I’ve never let him down. He’s got a warm home and a full tummy and life is splendid. In return, I get his unconditional love and admiration. This dog LOVES me! I’d be willing to bet that he WORSHIPS me! This is where God wants me to be with him.
I can fret about anything at any time! Where the college funds are going to come from, whether my kids are making good decisions, if Jay’s work is going to stay steady or if my job is going to be eliminated. I can worry about health and if I’m doing everything that God wants of me. How much longer is my car going to last? What about Hannah and Caleb’s cars? What if they break down? How can we pay for another one when we can barely cover school right now??? So on, so forth, blah, blah blah! Is it possible that Tucker has insight that his human owner lacks?
God wants me to be like Tucker! I can fret all day and night, but truth is – God’s got my back! He’s got it all figured out and he looks down at me and just shakes his head. “Silly girl!” I can hear him! “Don’t you know that I have you in my hand! I love you beyond your realm of understanding! I love your kids, husband and even that mutt! Surely you know this by now!” I should know this!
Last spring a student from our school was bringing around birthday treats. I knew she was fighting cancer, but I never doubted she could beat it. The kid is a pistol! If any one kid at our school could face death and stare it down, it would be this kid! On this day though, it just seemed the life was sucked out of her. Her skin was gray and she looked hollow and thin. She had a slight limp and a droopy eye. She could barely work a smile as she handed me a crumbled up brownie in celebration of her birthday. As she left, I turned to the one staff member who was in the room with me and I fell to pieces. For the first time, I though she wasn’t going to get through this. Her fight was fading and it tore me up inside. I’ve watched this child face cancer face on and conquer! Although her fight is not completely over, she is currently cancer free! God had it all under control!
It’s still a daily struggle, but I am getting better about trusting God, knowing that he’s got it all figured out. Worry if I must, but it’s wasted energy! I love Josh Wilson’s song “Know By Now”. The chorus goes:
Whoa, whoa, here I go again
Why do I forget, You’re always faithful
Whoa, whoa, how many times have I seen
You give me just what I need
Whoa, whoa, here I go again
I forget, You’re gonna work it out somehow
You think that I’d know by now
I have it on my iPhone and in my car and it’s one that I put on when I’m falling into those doubts and worries. Maybe you’ll find it helpful too!
