Leaving Home

I'm trying to get used to this whole new phase in Jay and I's lives. We are on the brink of the empty nest...something I've thought would be nice but isn't feeling so special at the moment. Raising 3 kids has been the joy of my life and I've loved being a mom! Watching your children grow up and get jobs and lives of their own is a very proud feeling, but yet there's this deep down pain too - letting them go. Our oldest daughter moved out a couple of months back and at the time we both talked about how she'd probably never be moving back. She was in and out during college, but now she has a great job and is beginning her life as a self-sufficient adult. She moved in with a friend of hers who bought her first house and bought a new car. She's dating a nice guy and it's exciting to see this new phase she is beginning! We are so proud of the young woman she has become!

When they are little, I don't think you really realize that this day is going to get here. It seems so far away, and yet it sneaks up on you! I love watching our daughter begin her new life, but it's not easy letting go. I still want to know how her day went or what she's doing for the weekend, or how work is going. There are no longer shoes left in the hallway or purses sitting in the kitchen. All the little things that drove me nuts, now make me lonely for her presence here.

I ran across this video and thought it was so sweet. As each of my kids move on and out of our homes, I hope that they will take pieces of us with them - little things to remind them of us. I hope that they will know how much we still want to be part of their lives, whether it's a phone call, visit or Facebook message. :) My kids are my best friends and as much as I know they have to go and begin their amazing lives, they'll always be my kids!

Leaving Home - Katie Armiger - Katie Armiger Videos

I Won't Let You Go, Rascal Flatts

My favorite thing to do as a kid was play with dolls. I could play with them all day! I liked Barbies okay, but I loved the baby dolls. The more real looking, the better. I would dream of having my own kids and I had this ideal of what I wanted in a home. I'm pretty sure I've fallen pretty short of that dream that I had as a kid, but I can tell you that my family means the world to me. When it comes to my kids, I guess you could even call me obsessive (pretty sure my kids do!). Sometimes it hurts that they think I'm too involved in their lives, but then other times I really don't care. I would have to say that if God put me on this earth for any one thing at all, it was to raise them. Just as I had this "ideal" of what I wanted for myself, I now want that for them. I'm wise enough now to know that no one is perfect and I can't make my kids make the right decisions. I just have to try to guide them the best I can, based on what I've learned in my life. It gives me a bit of perspective of what Christ might think as he watches me struggle, make bad choices and walk away from him. I believe he would sing this to me!

As a mom, you have this need to just put up this field of protection around your kids. To see them hurt - well, it's the most painful thing for me. When they hurt, I just want to be able to take all that pain and move it to myself. I know that what I feel now, is something they will feel someday as they become mom's and a dad. So, when I try to guide them, and they don't listen. I just need them to know that no matter what, I will always be here for them. I will stand by them, support them and help them in any way that I can, and I will never let them go! I know that someday, they will be doing the same for their children.

Hannah is heading to Ohio with one of her teammates this weekend to see Rascal Flatts, so as I was listening to some of their music tonight I ran across this song. What an amazing song, sung by husbands and dads. I know exactly who they are singing to!

I Won't Let Go (ABC Special) - Rascal Flatts - Rascal Flatts Videos

Arms That Hold the Universe, 33Miles

On Tuesday's and Thursday's during the summer, I work at a golf course, just working behind their counter getting food and beverages for people before they head out on the course. I have to be there at 7 a.m. and that's a stretch for me! I like to try to check my email before I head out the door in the morning and this morning came an update from Carepages on a little girl from the school I work at. Sydnie is fighting a pretty aggressive form of cancer, and talk about a trooper! It's been a tough year, and she is back in the hospital this summer for a bone marrow transplant. Her dad updated us that after a rough week, she was ready to go. This is a bitter sweet thing as Sydnie has been going through some intense chemo this past week and can't keep anything down. She's very weak and very quiet. If you know Sydnie - her name and quiet don't even belong in the same sentence! Now she is confined to a room for at least 4 weeks as her body begins the BMT process. A 9 year old, in a hospital room for 4 weeks with limited visitation.

Reading her dad's update has to make you think as a parent. I can't imagine walking in his shoes! They have about 2000 people on her care pages and we have all walked by their sides through this battle, but we aren't IN it! I just can't begin to conceive how crazy hard it would be. I love my Lord, but I struggle with this as a friend of the family - as a parent - not sure where my faith would be. So, I'm reading this update and Syd's dad is comforting US! He's reminding us who is in control. Wow! Could I be there? I just don't know.

I hopped in the car, and this song was playing on the radio. I could not believe that this was the song following the amazing devotional that I just read - written by the father of a child fighting cancer! I actually found two different groups that have sung this song, but this is the most recent so I'm going to post it.  I'm a pretty visual person - and I love the visual I get when they talk about arms holding a Universe. A Universe! Wow! It's an eye opener of how big our God is! To be honest - I've seen God's hand at work all through this cancer fight that Sydnie has been dealing with for the past 7 months. I could easily put a list here! One little girl - God is using her! He really is!

I'm not sure where you are or what you are fighting, but I can tell you that He's got you! He does - right there - right in His arms!

"And the arms that hold the universe
Are holding you tonight
You can rest inside
It's gonna be alright
And the voice that calmed the raging sea
Is calling you His child
So be still and know He's in control
He will never let you go" 

He will never let you go....

Hold Me Together, Royal Tailor

So, I just got off the phone with my sister. She had planned this great trip to Europe for the past couple of years. It was cut short when the person she was traveling with felt a need to go home. I talked to her for quite a while and it hurt to hear her pain. I just wanted to fix it! I wanted to say, "Hey- meet me in Chicago and we'll just fly back together and I'll finish that trip with you!" There is just that little financial issue that gets in my way. :-/ I can't fix this for her, but as we were talking we got into a discussion about how God has all these amazing plans and sometimes it takes us on this detour, that not only do we not expect, but it hits us upside the head and HURTS! Why? Who knows why God brought Pam back home 1/2 way through her trip. I do know though, that he has a plan. I can't "fix it". I can't pick up all those little pieces and put them all together, but God can.

Royal Tailor is a new group for me. They have a great sound! Hold Me Together is just a catchy little tune that sticks in your head. That's not a bad thing since it's a good reminder that YES, He can hold us together - pretty sure He's the only thing that can. Life can hit us upside the head, and it hurts and it can shatter us. He'll hold you together though, through any storm! 

What I loved about my sister's story, was through those tears and frustrations she found a blessing in the man at the hotel. Just one man, who saw her pain and not only helped her make all her arrangements back but lifted her spirits with his kindness and a cup of morning coffee. :)

Here's Hold Me Together by Royal Tailor. Warning - you'll be humming it all day!

Beautiful, Mercy Me

If you ask me what my favorite song is, it might never be the same answer. With every new chapter of my life (and there are many!), there comes new songs. Sometimes one will come on the radio that I haven't heard in 20 years and I think, "I remember when that was my favorite song!" A lot of times, it's just what seems to hit me at the time. Maybe it's something I'm going through, or maybe it's something that just lifts my soul and makes me want to dance. With Beautiful, by Mercy Me, it's a whole flood of thoughts and feelings. Beautiful is my current favorite, and something about it just calms my heart each time I hear it.

A few years back, one of my daughters was going through her first break-up with a boyfriend who she dated for about a year and a half. In the big picture of life, it was a bump in the road. But at that moment, to her, it was the most painful thing ever. As a parent, it broke my heart to see her hurt. He had broken up with her, and she took it so hard. I heard this song on the radio and it was EXACTLY what I wanted her to know. I wanted her to know that she is BEAUTIFUL! I wanted her to know that she was created by God and loved so very unconditionally.

It's so easy to get in the rut of life and feel worthless or undeserving. Truth is - YOU were no mistake and YOU are beautiful in God's eyes. In that big picture of life, isn't that all that matters?

"Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die"

You know how much you love your kids? Well, God loves you more! How crazy is that? As a mom, I can't imagine that even being possible. "You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His." Take faith in that my friend! Enjoy Mercy Me and Beautiful...

Let me share with you...my tunes of the heart...

I've been thinking about doing a blog for a while now, but wasn't sure what to blog about. I'm not an expert on anything! Although I have fooled all our teachers into thinking I know a little something about technology. :) I do love being a mom, and I think I've done an okay job raising my 3 kids, but there are amazing parenting blogs out there and I'm not ready to say I'm an expert in that field either. So, rather than focus on what I know, maybe I should focus on where my passion lies - what speaks to my heart.  I've loved music my whole life, so why not share that love with others.  We have a friend who can instantly tell you who is singing what song and can list music artists through decades - that is not me. As a matter of fact, I often know a song and have no clue who sings it. I just google the lyrics and there you go! In the world of iTunes, where you just load your music up, I choose more often by song rather than artist. I'm not saying I don't have favorites, but it's what the song says to me that makes me choose it.

So, my plan is to upload a music video along with my take on it and how it speaks to me. Maybe it speaks to you differently or maybe you don't even like it, but I want to share with you why I like it.  It's so easy to like a song for the beat or the feel of the song, but I love words. If I can't understand what they are saying, it's just not worth listening to, in my opinion. I lean toward songs of faith, but they won't all be that way.

This is going to be easy at first, but it's going to get harder as I go along. Some songs will be new, some old. Some will be popular and maybe some you've never heard of. I just want to share with you my tunes of he heart.  I hope you enjoy!